My husband, the Bonsai Guru (wanna-be)

Scott has had an intense obsession with Bonsai trees for years. There's something fascinating about the pruning and creating process that has him hooked. I obviously don't have the patience for such a hobby, but the patience required for bonsai-growing is one of the reasons he is so drawn to it. He loves the analogy of "God is the Gardner," and the idea that he can be the one to sculpt and create something wonderful over time.

Well, he's had some lovely bonsai trees, and a few NOT so lovely. I'm afraid we're currently working on the NOT so lovely variety. Of course, that's just in my opinion. He looks at these shrubs--um, I mean, fledgling plants, and sees nothing but pure beauty in progress!

About a year ago he went to Lowes and bought himself a couple of full-on fiscus trees. Like, 5-6 feet tall fiscus trees. He promptly went to work cutting (hacking!), pruning, and taking them down to a mere memory of their former selves. Since then, they've grown for a year, and it was apparantly time for another hard pruning., according to Scott. And . . . I will now reveal the atrocity we have living in our bedroom:

I have affectionately named her "Audrey II" after the plant that grew out of control in the musical "Little Shop of Horrors." I honestly can't believe this thing is living in my bedroom. It's just a darn good thing that not many people actually GO into my bedroom.

Check her out, the poor thing. Ravaged, chopped, and wired into all sorts of contortionist shapes. BUT, of course, Scott has a "plan" and a "vision" for Audrey II! I just don't know if I have the patience to wait for 20 years to see her come out of her "awkward" phase.

BUT, that's not all!! No, folks, if you look right here in my bathtub, you will see baby Audrey. And yes, she DOES live in the bathtub. Every day. All year long. Nope, no baths for us. Baby Audrey was doing really well, in fact, I really quite liked her. She was far more tame than her big sister, and I thought she had potential to really be quite a lovely bonsai tree. BUT NO!! Scott had another "vision" for baby Audrey. And with that vision, he went to work on her again this week. Cutting (hacking), pruning, and re-shaping her. Wanna know what baby Audrey thought about the gentle "pruning" she'd received? Take a look ---

Yup, that's right. She was MAD!!!!! And to fully illustrate her feelings, she promptly dropped almost all of her leaves. Poor Scott worried for a minute that he might have actually killed baby Audrey. (And I was secretly thinking "that'll show ya!") But in the past few days we've seen a little miracle. Baby Audrey is coming back from the brink of death, and has started to sprout little buds! That little fighter...what a gal!

So apparantly, I will have to wait another 10 years or so to get my tub back. But in the meantime, we will encourage baby Audrey to come back and be fabulous again.

And I will secretly pray that Audrey II has a tragic run-in with a runaway tree chipper . . .